Conversations with my Parents by Oanh Thi Tran

1. What is ironic about the way the author and the father become close? What has to happen to the father?

I find it ironic how the way that the two become close is when the daughter asks her father about his war stories and his life in Vietnam. They cannot have a conversation but she must ask question about his childhood life and memories. Also at the start the father never really talked to the author because she did something she was not supposed to. 'Move out of the house before marriage'. But when the father became sick she would spend long hours at the hospital just with him. I think this is when the father started talking to her.

2. How would you characterise the conversation that the author has with her parents?

Quick, passive and not really a conversation at all. The only relevant thing they talk about is how each other are. Talking about the weather and how cold it is, is not a conversation that a daughter she be talking with her dying father. I think the daughter realizes this after the conversation though as she 'stares at the receiver in her hand in shock.' I also feel that it was lacking in emotion.

3. What is it that worries the author most about these conversations?
The thing that worries the author is that she is so far away from her family and she doesn't quite know how to say I love you or I miss you. She doesn't even know what words to use. She doesn't think that she has ever told them that she loves them and this worries her. favorite 4. There is a gap between the author’s need to express feelings common in western countries and her family’s lack of desire to express their feelings verbally. How does the family still express their feelings for their child, just not verbally?

To me it is obvious that the family find it very hard to show their emotions through direct communication. But throughout the story there are slight hints that the mother is trying to show how much she does care for Oanh. When Oanh's mother talks about cooking the dish banh xeo and describes how this used to be her favourite dish. Also when mother says "We had crab the other day, we all missed you." This also shows that her mother really does care for her because this is probably another of Oanh's favourites.